I don't normally like generalizations about gender.
You know, statements like, "Most women are ..." and "Men tend to be like ..."
But when a researcher has actual data to back up generalizations, I tend to take notice.
Brene Brown has made a name for herself in both pop culture and academia with her research on shame.
She says this about gender and shame:
"Shame for women is this web of unattainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we are supposed to be.
Shame for men is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one: do not be perceived as weak."Brene Brown
Does this ring true for you?
I am so curious.
As a woman, the imagery of a "web of unattainable, conflicting, competing expectations" really resonates with me.
I often feel like a bug trapped in a sticky spider's web. The more I struggle to break free, the more stuck I feel.
Shame loves to whisper to me during this struggle - "See. You can never meet all these expectations. Why even try? Your acquaintance on Instagram can meet them, though. Must be something inherently wrong with you."
I am learning to recognize and ignore shame's dark half-truths.
I wonder what shame whispers in your ear.
Anyone have the courage to share?
When I hear Shame whisper during my struggles (negativity, doubt, selfishness, pride, etc.), I can look to little children. Thankfully, my little PK3 students help me every day to realize what is really important...sharing, listening to each other's stories, and cleaning up after ourselves.
I love that the littlest children can teach us the deepest truths!