I recently officiated the wedding of two of the most kind, compassionate, Christ-following young women I know. The wedding was holy, filled with love and laughter. The entire event had a profound impact on all of us who were there. The love these women share is contagious!!
The argument I often hear against same-sex relationships and marriage is, "It's not God's design ..."
This is often a conversation stopper. A pronouncement from on high, a statement of belief that, of course, people are allowed to make, but one that limits our vision. It gives us permission to refuse to really see other people as people. It allows us to dismiss others with barely a thought of the impact our dismissal might have.
I assume that this statement is pulled from a couple verses in Scripture that were written in a culture far removed from ours, at a time in history when the concept of homosexuality was non-existent and most of the Scripture passages relied on were addressing issues related to temple prostitution or older men purchasing young boys as sex slaves. We then take those passages of Scripture (SIX OF THEM!!! ONLY SIX PASSAGES IN THE ENTIRE BIBLE) and come up with a blanket phrase like, "It's not God's design" to talk about flesh-and-blood humans and their lives and love.
This phrase is also (again, I am assuming) extrapolated from the Creation story found at the beginning of the book of Genesis. Yes, it tells us that God created male and female and gave them to each other, which is beautiful. It also contains a talking snake and a tree called The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, which, of course, was not a real tree. This is a beautiful, deeply true Creation STORY, and to do it justice, we must read it as it was meant to be read, which is not LITERALLY. I think the writer of this story would roll over in his grave if he knew the way many modern Christians read this particular text. We literalize it into the dust. We make it seem silly, rather than serious, substantial and true at a soul-deep level.
"It's not God's design ..."
(sigh)
I wonder if people know how that phrase can wound ...
Can crush a young soul ...
Can destroy faith ...
Can turn people away from, rather than toward, God ...
You know what's not God's design?
Cruelty.
Dismissal of someone's personhood.
Pronouncements that God is disgusted with a flesh-and-blood neighbor.
Exclusion from faith communities.
Misuse of Scripture to harm.
Incurious certainty about what God thinks or feels toward another human being.
Denial of legal rights.
What are we doing, church?
The night I married my two friends was one of the most love-forward, sacred moments of my life. Two beautiful humans, servant-hearted, sacrificially committing to each other, promising before God to live out the covenant of marriage to honor him, eyes fixed on Christ and his Kingdom.
And a rowdy, wild-with-joy crowd of their friends and families cheering them on in Jesus' name.
It was the closest thing I've seen in a long time to what feels like God's design.
Thoughtfully, beautifully written Alice. As always, I so enjoy and get a meaningful boost of spirit from your posts.
Hey Deb!!! Thanks for reading h my
Musings.
Absolutely beautiful! Thank you for speaking up.
Thank you, Kathy.
In 2013, Pope Francis said, “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?”
In 2016, he explained his comment further to the National Catholic Reporter: "I was paraphrasing by heart the Catechism of the Catholic Church where it says that these people should be treated with delicacy and not be marginalized...because before all else comes the individual person, in his wholeness and dignity. And people should not be defined only by their sexual tendencies: let us not forget that God loves all his creatures and we are destined to receive his infinite love."
Yet, in attending Mass out of town this past weekend, the offertory petitions called for us to pray that elected officials "follow the principles of Jesus Christ ahd the sanctity of marriage between a man and woman." The recessional hymn was "They''ll know We Are Christians by Our Love" and the lyrics have lines like "we pray that all unity may one day be restored" and how we need to "guard each man's dignity and save each man's price."
Major mixed messages. And rather "indelicate" in comparison to the Holy Father's words, if not incongrous with them. I felt sad and conflicted about the church I was raised in. As I frequently do.
I also attended a service at United Methodist church in which the guest clergy was a minister of the United Church of Christ who grew up in the church neighborhood. His husband was there. He talked about how little nuts grow into tall trees, citing examples such as Rosa Parks in the Ameriican civil rights movement and said we all must continue to be "a little nutty" even when the odds seem against us.
I liked that. I guess I will continue to be a little nutty in my journey, wherever that leads me.
Pat, I so deeply appreciate your in-depth thoughts and musings. Your honest vulnerability, and your dogged religious searching. ❤️
I love reading your words and look for them every morning. <3
Lynn, this made me a bit teary to read!!! Thank you for your kindness and the fact that you read my words.
Hey I have a question- I also have heard the idea that "it is Gods design" because that is physically how we are made to procreate or multiply (man and women having sexual intercourse). So obviously this can't happen between two people of the same gender without some type of outside intervention like adoption or in vitro fertilization so how do we connect the bridge on that? Did God mean something else than populate the Earth? Just curious on your thoughts. Also do you have any references to your statements on how Genesis is interpreted- I'd like to read more on that. Also I recognize this might not be the place to have this discussion but I don't really know you and have been trying to wrap my brain around this for awhile. TIA!
Hey Meg, yes procreation is a big argument that folks use to argue against same-sex relationships and marriage. I get it. And yes, the statement "be fruitful and multiply" sure does occur in the Creation story of Genesis. And, I am sure, at the start of "creation" the filling of the earth with human beings was critical!! In a arguably over-populated world I am not sure that argument holds much sway, right? And what about heterosexual couples who can't procreate for whatever reason? Where does this argument leave them? Or single men and women? And what a beautiful thing that same sex couples, through the miracles of modern science, CAN procreate, if they choose!! I also think that we can take the "be fruitful and multiply" a tad too literally. Can a human being be fruitful in ways other than pregnancy? What about adoption? Or a flourishing career? Or being an attentive aunt or uncle, or mentor to a child? We can multiply in other ways, too ... multiply love, hope, courage, peace ... So these are my initial thoughts on your first question.
As far as my take on the Creation story ... and the Bible. I love reading Walter Bruggeman's text The Bible Makes Sense, or Rob Bell's Book What is the Bible? Also, Pete Enns stuff ... podcast, website etc called "The Bible for Normal People" is super helpful!!! Also, Richard Rohr ... anything of his, absolutely anything! What We Do With The Bible is really good stuff.
Helpful?
So is “Gods word” a divine less cultural religion that can change over time based on social constructs or did I misinterpret that. I don’t think Romans1 26-27 is that far removed from 1985 or monkey pox in the gay community either. I’d say the same consequences fall on the people talked about in Ezekiel 23:20 even today. Had to bring up the last one cuz it’s hilarious. This post isn’t meant to be mean, just pointing out what has been said and comparing it to what actually happens in reality
Hey Steve. Thanks for reading my post, and commenting. Not quite sure what you are getting at?
When we accept the redemption that Christ offers thru the Gospel message, we are then challenged to live in his will.
"How then shall we live" is the resulting question of the c/Church, as we challenge ourselves to align our daily living to His desire.
No one achieves this standard fully. We all fall short. But, it is in the striving - both individually and collectively - that we improve our lot, and the lot of those around us.
One modern commentator has described the fundamental nature of sex as "predating" the principle of up-and-down with regard to the foundation role it plays in all of life.
Whatever its placement, it is essential to all living existence, and could not have escaped God's vision/plan for us. We cannot avoid or abandon the subject in our striving for understanding.
I wonder if you might explore/write on the subject of what God's desire is for us in this regard. How then shall we live?
Hey Bruce, thanks for your thoughtful response.
I am a tad unclear on what exactly it is you want me to write more about.
Can you say more?
My apologies, I haven’t been here in a while.
You have expressed previously that SIN is best described or characterized as “missing the mark.”
I, too, love this characterization. It represents Christians as “strivers” of sorts. Trying - ongoingly - to hit the mark of God’s will and desire for us. It is “gracious” in its tone, and carries the implication that - tho we strive - we often miss. I like it a lot!
In John 8 we find the story of the woman caught in adultery. There is so much great about this story -- not the least of which is the embarrassment of the “self righteous” of the day to a dwindling that ultimately results in their complete departure/absence.
Then Christ asks the women, “Where are those that condemn you?” She answers; “There are none.” And, Jesus responds; “Neither do I condemn thee…” This is the non-condemnation message that you and so many others rightly preach in the modern church. And, a message that I embrace wholeheartedly.
However, Jesus doesn’t stop there. He then says “Go and ‘miss-the-mark’ no more.”
Wow! I think the church could benefit from a sermon series on the subject of how these two lines can exist in the same situation. And, to follow each other so directly. There’s certainly enough material there.
Jesus reveals in these few words that he does not condemn, but he DOES discern. Her action/conduct was “off the mark” and outside of his will and desire for her life. And, he says so! His great love for the woman individually (and us collectively) would allow nothing less.
The c/Church’s mission is to spread the Gospel. And, those of us accepting the gift of salvation, then naturally - with a grateful heart - seek to live in His will. The church - and pastors especially - are to clarify and enlight that pathway and destination. How can the body “not miss” if we don’t even know where the target is? Or, if it’s obscured by darkness. Striving toward God’s will requires a clear and enlighted “mark”.
God is the only giver of life - and sexual interaction is the very alpha nexus of that gift. Clearly our behavior in this arena could not have escaped his vision. It cannot simultaneously be the nexus of His life gift, and also carry no merit in conduct.
As you know, writing is the most “clarifying” and difficult of all of the methods of thoughtful conveyance. And so, my challenge: let’s consider - in writing - what is our message to c/Church whole - local and beyond - with regard to “the target” of individually sexually living in His desire.