I have struggled to know what to write since the election. What on earth can my simple words do to help heal a divided nation? Who should listen to my thoughts regarding the church in our country and how it seems as if different denominations worship altogether different Gods? How can I speak to those who fear for their lives and livelihoods while at the same time holding space for those who are giddy with the outcome and seem oblivious to the building storm clouds in the lives of their neighbors?

It has felt pretty hopeless to me lately. And so I have kept quiet. The simple act of posting a broken heart emoji on social media the day after the election caused a tiny whirlwind of angry comments that made me heartsick.

Is there nothing the majority of us agree on anymore?

And when we don't agree, have we lost our ability to speak courteously, listen carefully, lean into curiosity?

Have we just given ourselves over to our darker angels?

It has caused me to ponder if it is even worth trying to speak bits of goodness out into the void.

But ... If we stop trying, stop doing our part, stop making an effort to step up and to speak up and to remind ourselves and others that we can choose to be better than our elected officials, haven't we just capitulated?

These are the questions I have been mulling over lately. I've had more time to do so - cable news is off and podcasts have been replaced by music, novels on Audible, sweet silence.

Today I found my answer. I am choosing not to give up and give in. I am not going to say uncle, fold my cards, take my ball and go home. Those actions all reek of privilege; the kind of privilege I am deeply aware I live with.

No, I am going to keep writing my tiny missives in the hopes that my words bring a smile, a tear, a reminder that we are not alone. In the hopes that something I say or think or write might prompt us to go outside and look at the stars, or call a friend, or volunteer at the Food Bank or the Boys and Girls Club. I don't have a big audience and maybe that's alright. Maybe big audiences are overblown. Maybe all any of us ever have is our own small circles of influence. And maybe all any of us are being asked to do right now is to influence those in our circles to love, to see, to care, to try, to seek our better angels in the warp and woof of our ordinary days.

To be exponentially better than our elected officials.

Let's keep trying ...