We were in a swanky resort in Florida for a work-related trip for my husband. We were surrounded by financial advisors and spouses. It was so lovely.
On our first day there, I ran into a woman in the pool area who asked about my life and what I did for a living. "I'm a pastor," I said. "Ahhhh," she said, "I love that. I'm a financial advisor and am hoping to retire soon and pass on my business to my daughter-in-law." You know, we were just chit-chatting. A brief interaction.
The final night of our event, Chuck and I got embroiled in a pretty intense, all-company game of competitive corn hole. No judgment, ok? It was fun. Between matches, we ran into this same woman from the pool and started to chat. Perhaps because she was now in conversation with a fellow financial advisor (my hubby) this woman began to be a bit more outspoken about how successful she was, how proud she was of her business, how amazing the successor to her business is and will be. She was letting us both know that she was a pretty big deal.
And right after she shared all this information, she looked right at me and winked and said, "You know ... I'm just so blessed." And then she threw me another wink for emphasis and a look that implied, "You, a pastor, know exactly what I mean when I say I am blessed."
Cue awkward silence.
This is not the first time this kind of scenario has played out in my presence.
People learn what I do.
They then choose to tell me about something amazing and successful in their lives.
And then they use the term "blessed" to describe why they are so successful or important.
I usually respond with a small smile. And not much more.
Because what is happening under the surface for me is a bit of a turn of the stomach.
In our country, we believe that God's blessing results in our personal - often financial - success.
In our churches, we often blindly carry this same idea right into the pews.
In the Scriptures, however, we run into a very different understanding of the word, the idea, of blessing, and a list of who, in actuality, is blessed by God.
Listen to these words of Jesus:
"When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions.
This is what he said:
'You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.
You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.
You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.
You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.
“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.'"
(Matthew 5:1-12, The Message Paraphrase)
Listen, I hope this woman continues to have a great life. She was a fun and friendly person.
But I did not wink back at her either of the times she winked at me. Her wink implied that she and I shared some kind of secret "in" with God. That she and I shared the same understanding of what it means to be blessed.
And she could not have been more wrong.
Bless her heart.
Thanks. As a person that has bad self esteem (and trying to overcome)vI needed this.